My Heart melts whenever she smile

Tuesday 30 December 2008

救生圈

我知道她不想和我更发展更亲密的关系。
我知道当中有很多因素好像她的父母亲,学业还有其他的原因。
我不希望她愿意当我的女友。
只想当你的救生圈。
唯一的遗憾就是永远不能靠岸。

我猜你和他应该是闹得很激烈
否则你不会任性的亲吻我的脸
每次在爱情里搁浅 我才有幸被你想念
原来忠诚不过是爱情最致命的弱点

* 为什么我只配当你的救生圈
在你和他之间 隐约的再浮现
若有一天 我也深陷
谁来给我及时的救援
为什么我只配当你的救生圈
永远都等不到靠岸的一天
为了让你脱险 飘在海面
(你总是忽略了 是我太傻了)

我猜你和他应该爱得很激烈
否则你不会忘了曾亲吻我的脸
每当你回到他身边 你就不会对我想念
原来忠诚不过是爱情最致命的弱点


Distance

I'm someone who pretty much think for to much for my own good.
Sometimes I feel pain yet put on smile when interact with people, a mask to hide feeling, emotion, thought. Without it, it will feel like strips in front of people.

Anyway, something should not be say in order to protect other's feeling.

There's something I not happy, actually feeling helpless. If your guys knew what's in my head, you will think I'm a selfish jerk.

So no detail, don't ask me what. For now just accept the fact that things "written" in face are just only a mask, nothing more nothing less.

I don't how should I feel but it's better not to tell that person.

Monday 29 December 2008

What I Felt When I Wake Up Today

After I wake up from dreaming about you,
I have the biggest smile on my face,
then it quickly fades away,
cause I realize that it was just a dream,
& you`re not really mine

Numb

Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's the dissapointment, maybe it's the hope, maybe I just realise, maybe I matured, maybe I childish, maybe..........................
but all I feel are numbness.

"Whenever life seems to drift you away from me, I can't help but cry. You've grown to be such a part of me that without you life is no more than a desperate sigh. They do say love comes and goes, and to that I disagree. So, here's my hand, take it and don't let go of me."

Sunday 28 December 2008

Virgo - Earth Element

Earth God and Earth Goddess - Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Like our grand mountains, our Earth Gods and Goddess are noble, exquisite, and big-hearted. They are the providers and a constant givers, but they need to be given back to, or they withdraw completely, to replenish their own resources. Giving back to Earth.. with simple appreciation, respect, and recognition is their fuel to work hard and provide for you. Earth God and Goddess are materialistic, so if you really want to impress them, you will make sacrificial offerings and spoil them with expensive gifts. Sacrificing your wallet or your emotions shows your admiration for all their hard work. Earth's world is about the solid things in life, like such things as a beautiful home, a reputable spouse, well-behaved children, luscious property, expensive jewelry, fine fashion, self-owned and operated business, and other "things" in general. Not to make the Earth God and Goddess sound negative, but they are focused on the "things' in life - because "things" are more stable - than the energy and emotions from others. Their world can sometimes be a pretty rocky world, therefore "things" can't hurt them or disrupt their private world.... like people can. Many times, you will find the Earth God and Goddess more of a loner, than a people-person.... as this is something they usually choose later in life, to escape all the unappreciative people who have used and abused their kindness and gifts.

Pressure from outside influences can interrupt their peaceful and quiet being. Yes, they may feel like a natural loner, but Earth truly needs to supported whether they realizes it or not (They are the only Earth floating in our solar system ya know!). Earth tends to stand alone, and exist on its own, even as a parent, a spouse, or as a career person.Earth sets very high goals - which are sometimes unreachable (like their giant mountains) in both relationships and in business, and Earth can easily become overworked and strained, as they have their own desires to take care of - while providing for yours too. Without the right support (or personal fuel of appreciation and respect) the Earth God and Goddess will feel painfully lethargic, depressed, and victimized. They are strong and stubborn like their enormous mountains... with a hard exterior, and feeling incapable of changing quickly. They are strong-minded, and have no interest to changing their focus. It's not that they don't want to, but feel incapable at times. They can be quite patient and determined... which will sometimes bring on frustration by the limitation of their element earth.... as big mountains do not just move or change for anyone..... unless weathered with time. After months or years of gentle pressure, they will eventually evolve.... whether that would be by the force of emotional raging waters.... fierce cutting winds of communication... or passionate fire storms. Earth can be temporarily beaten by the storm... but will continue to stand strong, to replenish themselves.

Conflicts

All Man made up of good and evil. What differs from good and evil is self control.
Everyone has their dark side. And I am but very very ordinary person.

Everyday conflicts happen. Some hurts more than the other, some more important than the other, some matters more than the other.

I wan to work but doesn't wan to lose my holiday time.
Wan money but dun feel like working.
Wan her to be happy but feel sad when she made her choices.
Hope to grow up yet long for the time during teenage life.

An undelivered present..........
Maybe it's meant to stay undelivered forever............

Saturday 27 December 2008

Thank You

Thank you for filling my life with colours for the pass half a year,
Thank you for lighthening my days,
Thank you for listening to me when I was sad, angry, frustrated, happy,
Thank you for consoling me when I was weak and vulnerable,
Thank you for giving me strength when I needed the most,
Thank you for everything.

I wish there is something I could do for you.

Stargazing

I get what you mean.
I'll keep my distance, not meddling with your family matter.
Stop asking you out. I will be fine, just fine.

I will only watch you from afar from someplace, somewhere.
A stargazer gaze at the stars.
Allow me to do this at least.

Friday 26 December 2008

What A Guy Should Not Do

A guy should never make a girl cry or sad. But of course if that's your sister then I no comment la. You know what I mean.

By chance, I had do something similar for the pass few day. Now when I think about it back. I was the biggest jerk.

Girls are made to be fragile, sensitive, emotional, caring and to be loved by Man.

Thursday 25 December 2008

We Belong To A Different World

Now I truly realise. How different she and I. In term of family background, teaching, interest. No use lingering over her like that. A guy have to know when to give up sometimes.

Xmas

Today got one whole afternoon to waste. Anyone know me and is going to times square plz give me a call maybe we can meet up.

Night go eng hoe's party. Hope it will turn out to be okay. My xmas's history kinda bad. XP

Anyway merry christmas. =)

We Do Not Belong Together

Its time to get myself out of this fanstasy that i had in mind.
We came from different world. She go places that I never dream of my entire life even I willing to die for it.
It's time to let go. Dunno I got the will to forget and see her as any other friend.
Sigh. Christmas maybe one of the best day of the year for most of people.
But for me....... something I wish it do not happen, happen at this cursed day.

Merry Christmas mortal.
Sincerely wishing my friends, family and everyone in this world a merry christmas. And of course to HER which probably wont know my feelings towards HER

Sunday 21 December 2008

Distance

She become further and further away from me every single second, far beyond my reach.
But she will always be in my memory chest which I held dearly.




Love is but only a illusion in this beast like world.
A illusion which keep us sane, to keep us alive.
A illusion which us mortal willing to die for.
To forget the pain which able to drive anyone out of this world.
Yet the most painful pain is when love you once possessed is being taken away.

Thursday 18 December 2008

Dull

KPP class aka undang class is boring as expected.
Lost count of how many times I yawn, but damn is boring.
Driving School at Hulu Langat.
Surprised that a lot of my friends came. Wei Yei, Wei Quan the twins, Soo my class monitor or should I say ex class monitor, Nigel and several more lazy to mention.

For few days a certain few person seems to ignoring me. Sigh, maybe somethings happen.

I'm tired of waiting someone, really really tired especially since she been ignoring.
Maybe I should leave her alone for the time being. Or maybe she fed up with me.
Gods know.

Loving someone can be tiring when they do not appreciate what you have done

Undang

Going to take undang class today. It will very very boring, according to my friends. Anyway hope I don't fall asleep.




Why she wont't look at me at all? It hurt so much.

Tuesday 16 December 2008

Pathway

Still stuck in junction whether to go which way.
Those whose parent has chosen for them can spare this misery. Unless, they really don't like their parent's choices. Jimmy is going to Taylor for A-Level then follow on to Law Degree.
I'm slightly jealous of him.

I won't be going for January intake. The main factor is because my mom want to decide depends on result.

Seriously I do not know what to do? Any advice?

Happy First Belated Birthday

My blog actually started on 29th of November last year. As you all know I'm just finish SPM at 1st of December 08. I almost forgotten due to a lot of factors.

Anyway Happy Birthday =)

Monday 15 December 2008

Confuse and Frustrated

I'm in a indecisive position.
I dunno what I'm going to study in the very near future.

I'm torn apart by in between of three courses : Law, Psychology and Business Management

Law : As my family is not in a wealthy condition, my hope to study law in taylors seem to be very dim

Psychology : It is my second option after law, but not sure the career oppurtunities in the future.

Business Management : Seem to be a promising course but I'm not sure whether I have the will or interest to study it.

Sunday 14 December 2008

Maybe

Maybe she despise me, maybe she's not.
Maybe she like me, maybe she's not.
Maybe she hate me, maybe she's not.
Maybe she notice me, maybe she's not.
Maybe she love me, maybe she's not.
But one thing I know is that I love her.

Wonder how long I can resist the urge to call/sms her?
24 hours and 3 minutes. And still counting.

Friday 12 December 2008

Pre-Education Fair

Having hard time to sleep yesterday...............
Sleep at 3am but actually 4.30am only fell asleep.................
Woke up at 7.30am pula..................
It will seem my panda eye will never go away.............. sigh.........

Going to PWTC today with a friend........... Since dad have to work so I have to go out
early............... Currently at CC.......... you know what I mean..............
they start at 11am but on not even 10am................
pass sometime at there.....................
I think i will be going soon....................
C ya into the fair if you can meet me............... the next few day maybe go to other college's
open day..................

Sigh

Nothing to say................................

Wednesday 10 December 2008

Books For Sale

To MBSian who wan to buy this exercise book please leave message at the comment or contact me at 017-3989430.

There is 5 MBS exercise book single line, 2 MBS math exercise book and 6 Gapen.
MBS exercise book : RM2.50
MBS Math exercise book : Rm1.00
Gapen : RM3.00
This one is RM5




Feel free to negotiate the price.

Overtime

Yesterday, stay up till 5am because someone want to watch anime cus its getting interesting.
Haha.

I dun mean to blame you la dearie. =)

Wake at 11.30am. Slight headache and dizziness. It's been a while since i stay up this late. Hehe =D

I think i'll have lunch now.

Tuesday 9 December 2008

Taylor's Open day cum What's left after SPM

Sorry for the late update. As mention before, my computer won't budge so offline for 2 day.
So yeah.

Woke up at 6am. Dunno why that day so early wake up for what haha.
Journey : Rapid KL bus No T324>> Star Lrt (Cempaka to Bandar Tasik Selatan) >> KTM (Bandar Tasik Selatan to KL Sentral to Subang Jaya) Since i dunno that both station are related so i bought double ticket. Me so dumb dumb.

KL Sentra to Subang Jaya. =D KTM really slow. Took over an hour to get to Subang Jaya

Talk about Law School. At least I get a pretty clear picture on what they study. But the fees pretty shocking.
Few picture taken on the booth.

The end of whatever SPM notes, book or anything. Nice view =)

Sigh

After came back from Taylor's Open Day, for no good reason my computer just wont connect internet.

Then just about 11pm, a sms came in "How bout bout 15min we meet online?"
I think what's wrong trying again. Ta da, can on9 dy. Duh.

Thanks dearie :)

Saturday 6 December 2008

ZzzZzzzzz

Sleep at 12.30 yesterday, had difficultly to sleep.
Thinking about something/someone. Dun ask me whose/what that. =.="

Parents went to Singapore yesterday. They going to participate marathon at there. (ah, i wish i go together, so boring at home)

Sis went to grandma' house though cuz parent worry letting her staying home. So, I'm the only soul at home.

Pros : home getting very quiet which i prefer, no one fight com with me

Cons : have to all the housework (oh well, i got nothing much at home also lol)

Plan to watch Bolt with primary classmates sometime next week but have not confirm the time yet.

Ever love someone whose interest is not in you yet you want to help him/her in any possible way. Grump, dont wan mention dy la.

Actually nothing much to write.
Good Morning to all my friends and those who read my blog.

Friday 5 December 2008

Mess After SPM

SPM is finally over for Form 5's student 2008 nationwide.
What's left are stacks and stacks of notes.
Finally today I dispose it all


Before SPM





This After the clean up. Look much more tidier now.



Happy Belated Birthday to Katrina and Tristan who become 17 yesterday. =)

And for Lenna, it seem to be several tough moment for you. You will make it through eventually, hang on.

Time to have my breakfast.

Thursday 4 December 2008

Plans For Tomorrow

Hey guys, tomorrow I'm going to Taylor's University College Open Day
For those who's going, say hi to me when you meet me haha

Random Photo

SPM very busy so long time didn upload pic
but actually its because my modem struck by thunder.

Oh well, back online for now at least.Oh this one, I remember is the same old Christmas Tree I saw lat year around this time. Of course la Chrsitmas ma. This bring a back a sad memory though.Take yesterday at Mid Valley. Christmas is coming!. December is a not so good month for me other than Christmas. Lol. Its festive season, cheer up. Lame.It was taken after est 1 haha. 5 fellow eat only, see how the bills look like. Well, its almost end of exam anyway. =)

Literature notes that Mrs. Ramali ask back to be eliminate. A lot of predicted question came out so it is unavoidable. Lenna you should se this haha.


















Dull Morning

Good Morning, to all the creature of the planet earth.
Can't sleep well yesterday, a lot of thing going through my mind.

=.=" wake up with ache all over my body
dun feel like moving

Wednesday 3 December 2008

Things I Dun Like About Myself

A lot of things I dun like about myself actually
-people say Virgos very emotional, well to me it seems that way
I hate being emotional. I easily get upset and be gloomy whole day
-I'm forgetful. Can't seem to remember important things.
One thing to be glad that is that I wont be upset for a long time. A bless in disguise
maybe.
-Tend to interrupt people when they talking, try get rid of this habit.
Slightly improving I think.
-I seems to talk a lot of crap in front of the girl admire. So embarrassing. Sulk
-I like to pretend that I know evrything even though I know nothing about it.
This one is a hard one, anyway still try to get rid off
-Ever feel possessive about something/someone?
Feel upset/jealous/angry/sad when she talk to other guys. Make me feel like a total jerk.

I guess that so much that I can think off. Maybe you guys may have different opinion on how to improve that. Haha. Yup, I'm serious. Please dun send vulgar comment, it just so lame.

Today, went to Mid Valley with friends to watch "Twilight"
Well, not bad. Edward cool. My favourite in the movie.
Erm, Bella. How should I say, some behaviour contrast with what describe in the book. lol
Been walking whole day, very tire. Yawn yawn.
Just fix my com. Today's pretty down for several reason. Not really in the mood of talking.